The Once and Not So Forever
by KitsuneNoThrill
Summary: Sylar looks back on his past years in the future after having lost his Soul mate Peter. Mentions of past relationship, pairing is Sylar/Peter


First off sorry if this one sucks, this is my first attempt at writing first person/past tense i think. It a weird story but i really wanted to write it. I;ve had a really shitty week so its kinda a sad story.

Secondly I am SOOO sorry about the delays with my other stories, finally getting a chance to write again so lets hope i get some out this week lol

Pairing = Sylar mentions of Sylar/Peter SLASH!!! You have been warned, though its nothing really just mentions of a past relationship.

This story is in Sylars point of view, after Peter dies, he's trying to deal with having lost him. It pretty much sylar looking back on whats happened since Peter died.

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For the Once and Not so Forever

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What is it that drives us to the edge, to the darkness that we just can't seem to escape from. The point of no return to which the only exit or safe road we see is that endless sleep in utter darkness.

Perhaps life just seems so meaningless for one moment because the one you care about or that thing you hold most dear rejects you, a darkness takes over and we can't seem to escape from, its like nothing else in the world can tear through it, we wish for nothing more that an end to the pain.

Your soul mate, your Thy'la, the only thing that matters to you...if you lost that even for a split second it can seem like the end. Perhaps thats the reason. When your life's steeped in a black abyss, it only takes loosing that one single light to make you wanna just give up.

I would know, i had found my Thy'la, my one and only, the one person who could forever understand me, always be near me, no matter what, but i lost them...he died.

Perhaps thy'la is just a geek term created by Rodenberg, but it holds such truth in what i feel.

Is it the string of fate that still ties me to that him, even when he's gone? Its been so long, a millennium it seems, but still, its as if i just lost you.

My name is Sylar, and my greatest gift is my greatest curse. I'm immortal, its the one power i wished for most, in in achieving it i guaranteed my own sadness, because he wasn't immortal too.

Peter...just the name along makes the butterflies spring to life, but they are quickly killed off by the poisonous pain of loosing him.

I tried so hard to keep him alive, but i couldn't...he died anyway. There will never be another one like him, ever. He knew me through everything, through the hardships, pain, anger, everything. The horrible person was, i hurt him so badly but he still found it in his heart to forgive me...to love me.

He was my every joy, my everything. Seeing him smile that crooked smile was all it took to make my day. His happiness was mine. He saw the world as such a beautiful paradise, a world made just for us.

But now...he's gone. This world is nothing but a rotted junk heap it always was. Nothing special, it lost its greatest light when Peter died.

A sharp coldness rips through my coat chilling me to the bone. I pull my legs up to my chin rocking softly as i stare out over the white landscape. Greenland was always so pretty this time of year, Peter and i used to come here often and loose track of time. This cave held specific happy memories, one particularly cold night made bearable by a late night activity.

A smile pulled at the edges of my chapped lips without my consent. The joy from the memory making the pain tolerable.

Recently i'd spent most my time lost in my thoughts of the past, for months i'd stay in one spot, doing nothing but stare aimlessly off into nothing, i'd become really weak after that and would have to dare a trip into town and swipe some nourishment. Sometimes i would even die, though my body betrayed my heart and always revived me.

The first 100 years after Peter died i was determined to kill myself and follow him, but nothing seemed to work. No matter what i tried i always ended up reviving. Once i blew myself up, just bits and pieces, but still, i just regrew...yeah that was a weird one.

Needless to say i eventually gave up on the suicide but that was only after some wack job Bible nut caught me trying to kill myself. For some reason i actually listened to him, told him my story, i guess i wanted someone else to know my pain, my existence. He gave me more than i wanted, said something about suicides don't go to the same place as other people. That i'd just end up separated for all eternity.

As much as i'm not one to believe a complete stranger, figured that if it as eternity we were talking about it would probably be best not to fuck with chance. I mean if the old geezer was right, well i would be shit out of luck. So i decided to take an alternate route to things. If killing yourself would put you in a bad place, then i was going to fight everything and anything powerful, maybe if i couldn't kill myself someone else could.

Sadly here i still sit, full intact just as i have always been. Alone, bored with life and everything in it. Once i'd given up trying to die i took on the task of knowing everything i could, being the best i could be. I became a doctor, scientist, lawyer, geneticist. I tried every thing and looked into everyway i could to find a what to bring Peter back. But nothing could bring him to me. Not the real Peter, i could have had a cop of him made, but without his memories he wouldn't be my Peter, not the one i loved, just an empty doll. It wasn't enough.

After a couple hundred years of that i knew everything there was to know about earth, the space stations, the other colonies.I even visited them, spent many years going from one to the next, but all were just as colorless and boring as the next. In the end, i always managed to end up here, back on Earth.

I heave a sigh of frustration, a small white cloud forms in front of my face clouding my vision. My eyebrows draw together in agitation and the lose of visibility, not that there was really anything to see but that wasn't the point.

"Stupid mist.." I wave my hand to clear the air but speaking only makes more clouds. Huffing i burst through the cave entrance and into the night air. I'd been here for what, 20 maybe 30 sunrises. I don't tell time by days now, there was no point. Time really doesn't mean much to an immortal. Its just another novelty like wind. Its there invisible but there, yet it really doesn't do much, its just there.

'Waffles' My mind sings, thats something i haven't had in a few years. I fly higher into the sky, certain i had passed a town somewhere nearby....nearby being hundreds of miles south.

=Who else should get some waffles?=

The memories pull at the back of my mind, trying to drag me back under, tempting as it is to fade back into them the roar of my stomach could np longer be ignored. So i took off, zipping through the sky.

Flying had become my number one power. It was amazing really how much i relied on it in comparison with the rest. Now days i had no realy need for any of my other powers, not that they didn't come in handy from time to time, its just Earth was more or less desolate of all humans now, so it was rare to run into one if you weren;t trying to. Most stuck to the cities, only a few were stubborn and refused to move from Earth. Think they called themselves Amish....Homish...well something like that.

They were a whole new kind of stubborn and the kind of human i'd rather not deal with. On occasion i'd have no other choice and just make do, and without Hiro's teleportantion power, trips between cities would take too long.

If Only i had killed that little Natzi when i'd had the chance i would still be able to see my Peter.

Hiro and i weren't really on speaking terms though, yeah he was still alive, somehow or another, though i'm pretty sure its just different versions of him popping in and out from different timelines. He was a craft little one, everytime i had him he'd pull that stop time thing and get away. He'd show up every century or two, but everytime he got away.

But then again, i hadn't seen him in a while...maybe he finally died. I was rather far in the future now, little chance he would actually need to come this far into the future.

I landed outside a small town..."shit...omish...." of all the luck, it had to be them...my shoulders fell in defeat. It would have to do. I wanted waffles and it would take about another hour or more to the next town..damn..

I stumbled ever so slightly over something and turned full glare in motion searching for the foul thing that would dare get in my path. Scanning the area i took note of what i saw, Snow...more snow....a roller skate...a body...more snow...

WAIT...i blinked, "Body?" I walked back over to it, i hadnt seen it when i landed...weird.

I stretched a toe out tentatively, yes unnecessary, its not like i could catch whatever it was that they had, but still.

I nudged it slowly at first, but got no response. One eyebrow raised in piqued curiosity, was it dead? I shoved harder at it rolling it onto its side. It was young, and frail, how strange that one so young would be left out on its own. Yes it, once you start giving these things names and genders you get attached, and attachment in this life was bad news. At least for me.

I bent down closer, it wasn't covered in warts or sores so at least i could get a closer look. Make sure it was dead.

"Um..hey" I poked its nose with my gloved finger, not sure how to go about checking it. It had been so long since i had dealt with a human on this level, i racked my brain trying to remember my Medical training. God it was like school after a 600 year break.

Come on think Sylar...my eyes closed in concentration, breathing, heart beat, test the nostrils for air flow, check for pulse...Right. Okay, i moved forward, eyes now focusing on the tiny form in front of me. Nose. I reached my hand out pulling off my glove and sliding one finger under its nose.

Nothing...damn. Adjusting i made to reach for where its heart should be, unzipping its coat and pulling up its shirt. Okay, so it was male and not nearly as young as it looked with all those clothes on. Maybe 16-19 Human years old...well, maybe who am i kidding i always sucked at guessing peoples ages. When your older than a star its hard to guess in such small terms.

But this one, he was so small, not short really, just thin and lean, but he defiantly had some tone to his body. His face was...well, covered in a mess of wet hair, it seemed to cling to his face like a veil.

I tight pull in my face made me snap back to reality...I was smiling. I jerked back away from the boy, smile falling immediately. My mind was spinning, something was pulling me to this kid... i reached out, carefully at first, then with growing determination.

Soft hair brushed back behind small rounded ears revealing a sleeping angel. My breath stopped in my throat as warmth sprung from my eyes, a river of life coming back into my dead soul....my voice barely a whisper... "Peter..."

~end

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So just to clear it up if anyone is wondering, its reincarnation, Peter is reborn back into the world. Sylar is drawn to him.

Sorry its kinda a random story but i just lost someone very dear to me, a friend i've known since i was 6 months old. I just really wanted to write something and this is what came to me.


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